Great Canadian Ketchup Cake

contributed by Heinz™ Ketchup

 

Do you remember what you were doing on this day in 1971?  Maybe enjoying guests Bernadette Peters and George Hamilton on The Ed Sullivan Show, or Burl Ives and Anne Murray on the Glen Campbell Good Time Hour. Maybe mourning Davey Jones' recent departure from The Monkees. Or reveling in America's domination of the space race, as evidenced by the recent moon landing of Apollo 14.

Of course, if you were Dr. Husband, you were busy being born, little knowing that you would grow up to be weekly served dishes that intentionally include ingredients that nature abhors.

For Dr. Husband's birthday, we have a cake of sorts - and, actually, Dr. Husband had to make it himself. I'm a whiz at Jell-O, but he's the baker in the family.  And also part Canadian. So, here you go - Canadian Ketchup Cake!

"Ketchup in a cake?" you ask in astonishment.  Created to celebrate Heinz's 100th Anniversary in Canada, "this show-stopping cake tastes as good as it looks. If you are a fan of carrot cake, you'll want to try this recipe."

Another missive from Heinz claims that this cake is akin to traditional Red Velvet Cake, a statement I must vehemently disagree with. My grandmother, Mrs. White, was a master of the Waldorf Astoria Red Cake, a recipe which she secured DIRECTLY FROM THE WALDORF ASTORIA HOTEL (she said) AT GREAT COST AND PERSONAL RISK TO HERSELF (she said) AND SHE WAS PRACTICALLY THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD THAT HAD IT (she said).  Of course that was before the internet. At any rate, the ketchup cake is rather similar to carrot cake in taste and texture, but nothing at all like authentic red cake, which is moist and earthy and as dense as white dwarf star matter.

The recipe is as follows:
2 cups flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 cup Heinz® Tomato Ketchup
1/2 cup water
1 Tbsp. red food coloring
3/4 cup butter softened
1 1/2 cups packed dark brown sugar
2 eggs
--- Frosting Ingredients ---
6 oz. brick-style cream cheese, softened
3/4 cup butter softened
1 tsp. vanilla extract
4 cups confectioner's sugar

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease two 9-inch round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment paper. Stir the flour with the baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda, nutmeg and ginger into a bowl. In a separate bowl, combine Ketchup, water, and red coloring. Set aside.

In a large bowl using an electric mixer, beat the butter and then blend in the sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs. Add the flour and Ketchup mixtures and beat on low, scraping down the bowl as needed, until combined. Increase the speed to medium-high and beat for 1 minute.

Divide the batter evenly between the prepared pans. Bake for 30 minutes or until the center springs back when touched lightly. Cool the cakes for 15 minutes before turning onto a rack to cool completely.

Frosting Preparation
With an electric mixer on medium speed, beat the cream cheese, butter, and vanilla for 2 minutes or until smooth. On low, gradually beat in the sugar, scraping the bowl as needed. Beat on high until fluffy.

Frost between the cake layers and over the sides and top of the cake.

You'll deduce, of course, that Dr. Husband made cupcakes instead of a traditional layer cake, and I'm comfortable disclosing that he also used canned cream cheese frosting. But never mind that, I know you all only come here for the videos anyway:

Our Rating: It's cake. You know you're going to eat it anyway.

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

St. Patrick's Day Salad

contributed by Dr. Bobb

 

As long-time followers will know, today's ingredients are very dear to my heart, as the very first recipe on the blog, Guess What Salad, involved corned beef and Jell-O.  I was anxious to try something similar, now that my methodology is more precise, and my palate for gelatin-meat combinations much more refined.

Knowing that I wanted my dish to incorporate both corned beef AND cabbage, I went in search of a suitable recipe. The closest to what I had in mind was from Knox On-Camera Recipes (1960), the instructions to which are found below:

I followed the instructions to the letter - as you know, working with Knox requires the accuracy and precision of a scientist - but for whatever reason, the cabbage layer just wouldn't set up right. In desperation, I just went ahead and mixed it all together, in hopes that the gelatin in the corned beef layer would prime the cabbage gelling process, and left it overnight to chill, but no dice. So i dumped the whole mess down the disposal and started from scratch with my own concoction, a mélange of the above and this recipe, with lime Jell-O replacing the Knox just to make it extra-St. Patricks-y.

1 box (3 oz.) Lime Jell-O

1 cup boiling water

1/2 cup cold water

3 tablespoons lemon juice

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup shredded green cabbage 

1 cup mayonnaise

1 12-oz. can corned beef, diced

1/2 cup diced celery

1/2 cup sweet pickle relish

Dissolve Jell-O in boiling water. Add cold water, lemon juice, and salt.

Spread cabbage in bottom of  8-inch square baking dish or ring mold. Add just enough Jell-O mixture to cover cabbage. Chill until slightly firm.

Meanwhile, add remaining ingredients to the remainder of Jell-O mixture. Spoon onto cabbage layer. Chill several hours or overnight. To serve, unmold and cut into squares.

Guest taster Patrick (because it's St. Patrick's Day - see what I did there?) has a go at the finished product:

Our Rating: Zero Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Special Edition: Coffee Jelly at the Church Pot-Luck!

Coffee Jelly Recipe

3 packets unflavored gelatin
1 cup water, divided
3 cups prepared hot coffee
3/4 cups sugar
pinch of salt
1 can sweetened condensed milk

In a large bowl, sprinkle two packets gelatin over 1/2 cup water to soften, about 5 minutes. Add hot coffee, sugar and salt; stir the mixture until gelatin is completely dissolved. Pour into serving dish or mold and chill until firm.

Meanwhile, in a measuring cup, soften remaining packet of gelatin in 1/2 cup water. Once softened, heat in warm water and stir until gelatin dissolves. Stir in 1 can sweetened condensed milk. Allow to cool slightly, then pour over chilled coffee layer. Chill entire dish. Dust with cocoa powder before serving.

Our Rating: Two-Tenths Screaming Husbands Parisioners!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Meat and Dill Slices

Tempting Low-Calorie Recipes (1956)

Despite all meteorological evidence to the contrary, summer is coming, and if you're anything like me, that means a panicked vow to the heavens to eat healthier, which will last only until the next glob of food intersects your line of sight.

So, from 1956, we have the delightful, if contradictory, Tempting Low-Calorie Recipes published by the Culinary Arts Institute of Chicago. Delightful, because it's chock full of line drawings by C. C. Cooper (not, as far as I can tell, the American Impressionist painter C. C. Cooper, but one never knows)

Contradictory, because the aforementioned line drawings are just as likely to show mother shoving fattening foods into her children's grubby hands, as they are to show the happy family enjoying exercise in the good, clean American parkland.

The Culinary Arts Institute gets right down to business, no fancy-schmancy enticing names for dishes here: the "appetizers" section starts right off with such unimaginatively-named creations as "meat-stuffed celery sticks" and "chilled melon".

Meat and Dill Slices, though, that's something we could really sink our teeth into - at at only 57 calories per serving, not feel a bit guilty about it!

Here's the recipe:

Prepare 1 Hard-Cooked Egg (page 38) [yes, it refers you to page 38, where there is an instruction on how to boil an egg. The Culinary Institute takes its educational mission VERY SERIOUSLY] Peel, chop and set aside.

Meanwhile, cut ends from 3 large dill pickles, 5 to 6 inches long [I could, here, insert a joke about how one should never send a man to measure anything that needs to be determined in inches, but I fear I risk killing the muse] Cut pickles crosswise into halves. Hollow out centers with apple corer and set pickles aside to drain.

Using medium blade of food chopper, grind and set aside enough cooked beef to yield 3/4 cup cooked ground beef. Mix lightly with beef the chopped egg and:
1 tablespoon minced parsley
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon monosodium glutamate [ I eliminated this step]
1/4 teaspoon salt
Few grains cayenne pepper

Moisten to heavy paste with 2 tablespoons ketchup. Pack meat mixture into pickles. Place in refrigerator to chill. To serve, cut crosswise into 1/2 -inch slices. Allow 3 slices for each serving.

It really sounds a lot more labor-intensive than it was. Once you get the pickles hollowed out you're home free. And really, it's only a matter of time before Skymall comes up with a gadget that does that for you.
Now, how does it taste? Will the elimination of MSG make it unpalatable? Let's cut right to the chase and try it out on real company!

Our Rating: Zero Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Tuna Ring with Tuna Sauce

Betty Crocker's Pantry Jubilee (1958)

 "New Bisquick Dish with an elegant air!" proclaims Betty Crocker's 1958 newspaper insert, "Pantry Jubilee".  Then comes the indoctrinating, almost-menacing afterthought:

BISQUICK'S GOING TO HELP YOU MORE THAN ANY OTHER PACKAGE IN THE GROCERY STORE

Well, I don't know about that - I mean, Jell-O and Cool Whip must rate up there somewhere - but Bisquick is awfully handy to have around the house,

 BECAUSE BISQUICK'S SPUN TOGETHER IN A WAY NOBODY CAN MANAGE AT HOME

Do you hear me?  NOBODY 

Not to be confused with Ring-Around-The-Tuna, today's Tuna Ring contains not a stitch of gelatin:

2 cups Bisquick

2/3 cup evaporated milk

1/3 cup water

3 eggs

1/2 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp. pepper

two 7-oz. cans tuna, flaked with oil

1/2 cup grated sharp cheese

1 tbsp. chopped onion

1/4 cup chopped pimiento

1/3 cup chopped celery

Heat over to 400 degrees (moderately hot). Grease a 9" square baking dish or 11 x 7" baking dish or 9" ring mold. Blend Bisquick, milk, water, eggs, salt and pepper. Beat vigorously 30 seconds. Mix ion 1 1/2 cans tuna, 1/4 cup cheese, onion, pimiento and celery. Spread batter in prepared pan. Sprinkle the remaining 1/4 cup cheese over top. Bake 30 to 35 minutes. Serve with Tuna Sauce in center. 8 servings.

Tuna Sauce: Gradually add 1 cup evaporated milk and 2/3 cup water to 2 tbsp. Bisquick, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1/4 tsp. pepper and remaining 1/2 can tuna. Heat and serve.

It may surprise you to learn that, though I love eating chowders and other creamed seafood dishes, the actual act of creating said dishes turns my stomach a little. Notwithstanding the documented fact that I will eat anything that's suspended in lemon gelatin. 

Plus, "Tuna Sauce".

So, I didn't have high hopes for this recipe. But...

Our Rating: Zero Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Party Sandwich!

Cookindex (1958) via vintagerecipecards.com

I'm on the road this week, but that won't stop me from cooking up potentially-disgusting recipes to foist on unsuspecting husbands all across America.  This week, we take a trip to lovely-ish Florence, SC, where Dr. and Mrs. Substitute were kind enough to put me up and help me in my culinary endeavors.

Florence, as you probably already know, is the site of an almost-calamity in 1958, when an atomic bomb accidentally fell out of a plane and landed in someone's back yard. Whoops!  Luckily the plutonium core didn't detonate, but there's a crater nonetheless, which you can visit to this day!

On a lighter note, Florence is also the soon-to-be-home of Seminar Brewing, Florence's first commercial craft brewery! (I can personally, and highly, recommend the Carver Peanut Butter Porter).

So, off we go. Party Sandwich is one of the gems presented by our friends at Vintage Recipe Cards, an invaluable source of kitschy recipes when I'm away from my cookbooks and in a jam. If you're too lazy to click the link, here's the recipe:

1 small round loaf Italian bread
Softened butter or margarine
Ham and Celery Filling, see below
Curried Egg Filling, see below
2 tomatoes, thinly sliced
Avocado Filling, see below
Cream cheese, about 1/2 lb.
Light cream
Sliced stuffed olives
Springs of parsley

Cut loaf, crosswise, into four thick slices. Spread each slice with butter. Spread bottom sliced with Ham and Celery Filling. Top with second bread sliced; spread with Curried Egg Filling. Top with slices of tomato and third bread slice. Spread with Avocado Filling; top with remaining bread slice. Mash cream cheese; stir in enough cream so cheese will spread easily; beat until smooth. Spread on top and sides of loaf. Garnish with olive slices and parsley. Cut into wedges to serve. Makes about 12 servings.

HAM AND CELERY FILLING: Combine 1 cup ground cooked ham, 1/2 cup chopped celery and enough mayonnaise to moisten.
CURRIED EGG FILLING: Combine 4 finely chopped hard-cooked eggs, 1/2 teaspoon curry powder and enough mayonnaise to moisten.
AVOCADO FILLING: Mash 2 fully-ripe avocados; add 2 tablespoons highly-seasoned French dressing. String until well blended.

You'll notice that the first step is to spread the bread with butter. This seems to have been a thing back in the day, at least according to my grandmother Mrs. White, who started every dish that could even be tangentially considered a sandwich (including hot dogs) with a liberal spread.

Once your bread is sufficiently buttered, you can start assembling your fillings. Mrs. Dr. Substitute was a great help in the kitchen this week, as was Chester, a great huge lumbering creature with two different colored eyes.

Mrs. Dr. Substitute was concerned that the ham "salad" didn't contain pickle relish; I argued that the sweetness might clash with the curried egg mixture, but in hindsight, the dish as a whole is such a mishmash of mayonnaise-y flavors that it probably wouldn't have mattered a whit.

I must also praise Mrs. Dr. Substitute for her insistence on homemade French dressing, she made about a gallon just to provide the measly two tablespoons needed for the avocado layer.

Once you start adding mayonnaise into your mixtures, the gentlemen in the house will sit up and take notice!

So, once you assemble and combine all your layers, you will be faced with icing your creation. I recommend securing the "sandwich" with a skewer before icing (and leave it in place for the slicing). Also, be prepared to have some slopover avocado and egg mix in to your icing.

When you're finished, add your olive and parsley garnish. You'll arrive at something roughly looking like this:

Based on our scientific slicing technique, I'd estimate that this sandwich will provide about 8 servings.

But enough about science, how does it taste?

And, seriously, if you want to be a guest kitchen, drop me a line!

Our Rating: Two Screaming Husbands!
(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Herb-Glazed Triple-Decker Ham-Clam Sandwiches

The Midnight Cookbook (1971) and Joys of Jell-O (1962)

Happy Valentine's Day!  To demonstrate my everlasting love for you, I've crafted a composite recipe from two different sources, because that's how much I care. 

Source number one: The Midnight Cookbook: A Guide to Intimate Dining (1971) by Thomas Mario. From the frontspiece:
The Midnight Cookbook offers an escape into the debonair world of late-night feasting...whether you're a swinging single on a late date, a housewife or husband eager to seduce your partner with gustatory delights, or a party-giver planning mouth-watering specialties of the house, Thomas Mario offers step-by-step instructions on food preparation and gives suggestions for drinks to precede and complement the meal.

From the cover art, I think it's safe to assume that "swinging" is the operative word in the above description.

A

Also, "gustatory" is apparently a word.

The basic recipe, for "Triple Deck (sic) Clam and Ham Sandwiches" is found on page 43. My own alterations are noted:

24 thin slices white sandwich bread (I used a mini pumpernickel loaf)
Soft butter or margarine
2 cans (10 ounces) baby clams, drained
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup finely chopped celery
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 pound boiled or baked ham, thinly sliced
1 pound firm ripe tomatoes, thinly sliced
Salt
Pepper 

Chop clams fine. Combine clams with mayonnaise, celery, and lemon juice. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Spread bread with soft butter. Spread clam mixture on one slice bread. Place second slice on top. Place ham and tomatoes on second slice of bread, keeping both within bread margin. Sprinkle tomatoes with salt and pepper. Continue in this manner until 8 sandwiches are assembled. Crust may be left on or sliced off with very sharp knife. Wrap each sandwich individually with clear or plastic wrap. Chill. (The recipe goes on to suggest broiling the sandwiches and serving them with a dill cream sauce. I ignored this bit. Instead...) 

Source number two:  The bountiful 1962 Joys of Jell-O has a whole section devoted to extended Jell-O techniques. Among them, on page 75, is "Herb-glazed sandwiches".   

"Your luncheon or tea sandwiches stay fresh and flavorful under a glaze," the booklet joyously proclaims!

1 2/3 cups water
1/8 teaspoon peppercorn (I used a bit more)
1/2 bay leaf (I used a whole one)
1/2 teaspoon dried dill
1 package (3 oz.) lemon Jell-O Gelatin
1/2 teaspoon salt
Dash of cayenne
3 tablespoons vinegar (I used tarragon vinegar)
6 to 8 open-faced sandwiches, 0r 12 to 14 appetizer-size sandwiches

Combine water, peppercorns, bay leaf, and dried dill in a saucepan. Cover and simmer about 10 minutes; strain. Dissolve Jell-O Gelatin, salt, and cayenne in the hot liquid. Add vinegar. Chill until syrupy. Place sandwiches on a rack and pour syrupy gelatin over them, allowing about 1/4 cup for each large sandwich or 2 tablespoons for each small sandwich. Chill until glaze is firm. Makes about 1 3/4 cups glaze.

By now, you must be thinking, "This is going to make a plate of sandwiches that look like they're covered in yellow mucous."  

Yep, you got it!

 Our Rating: One Screaming Husband!
(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)