Ham and Bananas Hollandaise!

McCall's Great American Recipe Card Collection (1973)

 

If you spend any unproductive time on the internet - since you're reading this, I'll just go ahead and assume you do -  you've undoubtedly seen a link along the lines of "The 21 Most Revolting Recipes Ever" or somesuch, which inevitably includes the shimmering delight pictured above. Then, as one does, you just as inevitably think of yours truly and race to be the first to copy the link to my Facebook page. Well, you can stop sending it now - bowing to the popular will, I've gone ahead and made it for myself.

Here's the recipe, from 1973:

6 medium bananas
1/4 cup lemon juice
6 thin slices boiled ham (about 1/2 lb)
3 tablespoons prepared mustard
2 envelopes (1 1/4-oz size) hollandaise sauce mix
1/4 cup light cream

1. Preheat oven to 400F. Lightly butter 2-quart, shallow baking dish.
2. Peel bananas; sprinkle each with 1/2 tablespoon lemon juice, to prevent darkening.
3. Spread ham slices with mustard. Wrap each banana in slice of ham. Arrange in single layer in casserole. Bake 10 minutes.
4. Meanwhile, make sauce: In small saucepan, combine sauce mix with 1 cup water, 1 tablespoon lemon juice, and cream. Heat, stirring, to boiling; pour over bananas. Bake 5 minutes longer, or until slightly golden. Nice with a green salad for brunch or lunch. Makes 6 servings.

I couldn't find hollandaise sauce mix, so I made a quick mock hollandiase:

1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sour cream
2 tablespoons lemon juice 
1 teaspoon mustard

Mix all ingredients until blended.

Sorry to say, my version didn't turn out quite as pretty as the recipe card version:

 

But how does it taste?  Well, Dr. Husband is here with special guest Crow to tell us all about it!

Our Ratings:  Three/Four Screaming Husbands!
(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Tuna Nicoise Mold b/w French Toasted Mortadella-Salami-Artichoke Sandwiches

The New Joys of Jell-O (1973)
The Midnight Cookbook (1971)

 

A double feature! Dr. Husband and I are on the road this summer - as you well know if you're following our travel posts -  and today we're coming to you from lovely Florence, South Carolina, home of Seminar Brewing, and of course you'll remember Dr. and Mrs. Substitute.

A quick scan through the French-Toasted sandwich recipe will tell you that it doesn't sound disgusting at all, just interesting, and since we had to make dinner anyway, we figured we might as well make something delicious.  The Tuna Nicoise Mold, on the other hand - well, a glimpse of the photo above may be reminiscent of a frat house bathroom on a Sunday morning, but as longtime readers know, we've never been led astray by a seafood/Jell-O combination.

Tuna Nicoise Mold (aka Jellied Salad Nicoise)

1 can (7 oz.) tuna, drained and coarsely flaked

1 small tomato, diced and drained

1/2 cup cooked cut green beans (I used canned)

2 tablespoons sliced ripe olives

2 tablespoons green pepper strips (I used roasted red)

2 tablespoons red onion strips

2 tablespoons mild French or Italian dressing (I used Mrs. Substitute's homemade French)

1 package (3 oz.) Jell-O Lemon Gelatin

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup boiling water

1/2 cup cold water

2 teaspoons vinegar

1 hard-cooked egg, diced

2 cups coarsely chopped lettuce

1/2 cup mayonnaise

2 tablespoons cream or milk

2 anchovy fillets, finely chopped (optional)

Combine tuna, vegetables, and French dressing in a bowl. Mix lightly; let stand while preparing gelatin mixture.

Dissolve gelatin and salt in boiling water. Add cold water and vinegar. Chill until mixture just begins to thicken. Then spoon vegetable mixture and diced egg into a 6-cup ring mold. Pour on half the gelatin. Spread lettuce on top. Add remaining gelatin. Chill until firm - at least 4 hours.

Mix mayonnaise, cream and anchovies. Unmold salad. Garnish with watercress, if desired. Serve with mayonnaise dressing. Makes about 5 cups or 6 entree salads.

French Toasted Mortadella, Salami, and Artichoke Sandwiches

16 slices thin white sandwich bread

Soft butter or margarine

1 pound mortadella sausage, thinly sliced

1/2 pound genoa salami, thinly sliced

6 ounce jar artichoke hearts in oil

4 eggs, slightly beaten

1/2 cup light cream or milk

Salad oil

(at Mrs. Substitute's suggestion, I added a slice of Swiss cheese to each sandwich.)

Spread 8 slices of bread generously with soft butter. Place mortadella and salami on buttered bread. Meat should not extend beyond margin of bread. Drain artichoke hearts, reserving oil. Cut artichoke hearts into thin slices and place them on meat. Brush remaining bread with oil from artichoke hearts. Put bread slices together to make sandwiches. Press lightly. Mix eggs and cream. Heat 1/4 inch salad oil in electric skillet preheated at 370 degrees (I used cooking spray in a non-electric skillet). Holding each sandwich firmly with two hands, dip into egg mixture briefly as in making French toast. Sauté sandwiches until medium brown on both sides.

If you were looking forward to some tuna-induced retching this week, I hate to disappoint you, but we have two winners:

Our Ratings:  
Tuna Nicoise Mold - One Screaming Husband!
French Toasted Sandwiches - Zero Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

On the Road - Shenandoah Caverns!

Tropicana Sundae!

suggested by Murph!

57 Prize Winning Recipes; H J Heinz Co., 1957

Now that we've broken the Ketchup Barrier, all things are possible. Today's ketchup-infused recipe was unearthed by my boyfriend-in-law Murph (currently on tour with his band - check your local listings and get out to support our hipster overlords!)

 

The key to this recipe is finding mint-flavored apple jelly - not apple jelly, and not mint jelly, only MINT FLAVORED APPLE will do. I expected to have a lot more trouble finding it, and so had all sorts of alternate methods worked out to combine them separately - but as I was in a pretty big metropolitan area I found it easily.

The recipe (remember as we move forward - it was a PRIZE-WINNER) is as simple as can be:

The jelly wasn't Heinz brand, but the ketchup was, and I suppose that's the most important part.

I was visiting Sissy's house for Mother's Day weekend, and enlisted her for the tasting part:

Our Rating: Three Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Tomato Aspic. With Starbursts!

contributed by Spencer H.

You may be sick of seeing aspic recipes, and maybe so am I, but after receiving a pleading letter from a fan, I just couldn't resist this one.

Spencer, the aforementioned fan, writes:

Hi, Dr. Bobb and Dr. Husband:
The above is the most revolting mold recipe I've ever come across. Please please make it!

He also adds,

Thanks for all the great content. You two are adorable.

Thus ensuring that I would make it immediately.

Now, then, have you ever wished you could find a whole book of recipes incorporating your favorite M&M/Mars brand candies? Well, YOUR WISH HAS COME TRUE. Rather, your wish did come true, roundabout 1978, when Sweet Treat Cookery was published. Don't worry, I'd never heard of it, either, but rest assured that my copy is now on its way.

Ostensibly filled with ways to spice up your next desert buffet, there's apparently also a main courses section, which is where we find today's offering.

A pretty standard aspic recipe, which I think I could make in my sleep by now...but with Starbursts!

2 tablespoons (2 envelopes) unflavored gelatin
1/4 cup water
4 cups tomato juice
2 (1-11/16 oz.) pkgs. STARBURST Fruit Chews (22 candies)
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
4 drops hot pepper sauce
1/3 cup chopped green pepper
1/3 cup sliced green onion
Salad greens
Mayonnaise

Combine gelatin and water. Let stand 3 to 4 minutes. In a medium saucepan, combine 1 cup tomato juice and candies. Melt over low heat, stirring until smooth. Add celery salt, Worcestershire sauce, hot pepper sauce and gelatin mixture. Stir until gelatin melts. Blend in remaining tomato juice, green pepper and green onions. Pour into an oiled 6-cup mold. Chill until firm, 4 to 5 hours. Serve on salad greens with mayonnaise dressing. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

I should mention that this recipe has already been made and tested, on a rival blog. Her husband couldn't even stomach the first bite, let's see how mine does:

Our Rating: Five Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

On the Road: Crystal Grottoes!

Hey look! A new feature! As you might imagine, Dr. Husband and I enjoy exploring all the kooky and kitschy attractions that our great land has to offer, so we thought we might as well just bring the internet along with us, since we pretty much have nothing better to do with our time.  First up is Crystal Grottoes Caverns in Boonsboro, Maryland - a little gem right down the road from the Historic Test Kitchen. Come on, let's go!

Our Rating: One 1/2 Screaming Children!

(all travel destinations are rated from one to five Screaming Children. One Screaming Child equals a must-stop. Five Screaming Children get a cold bath, a plate of broccoli, an hour of CNN, and straight to bed.)

Happy Easter!