Thursday, September 9, 2021

Ann Landers' Save Your Marriage Meat Pie! (Pieathalon 8!)

JUST when you thought life couldn't get any more exciting, along comes the highlight of the late Summer/early Autumn social calendar, Pieathalon! Pieathalon EIGHT if you can believe it. I am, as always, honored to be counted among the participants, especially considering my last post here was (*checks notes) Pieathalon SEVEN.  Thanks to my fellow food bloggers and especially Yinzerella at Dinner is Served 1972 for prompting me to get off my a** and make something for public consumption again.

Because apparently being stuck in the house for a year and a half with literally nothing else to do wasn't enough to get me motivated.

But enough about me, let's make a pie!

The excellent Jenny from Silver Screen Suppers sent me a recipe for "Ann Landers' Save Your Marriage Meat Pie." (Don't panic, my marriage doesn't need saving at the moment. THAT I KNOW OF.)


Being of a certain age, I remember a time when Ann Landers (née Esther Pauline "Eppie" Lederer) and her twin sister, Abigail Van Buren (née Pauline Esther "PoPo" Phillips), in their competing advice columns, dictated the social mores of middle America with their witty, no-nonsense advice. In my early formative years, I had the advantage of living in a home where we received TWO daily newspapers, and so I was doubly-indoctrinated into polite society. (Full disclosure: The morning paper, The Columbus Citizen-Journal, carried Dear Abby and also had a far superior comics' section, so if forced to choose sides I would have to lean towards PoPo).

Ann Landers (left) and Abigail Van Buren

The recipe seemed a bit intimidating at first glance. I'm not much of a baker (I usually recruit Dr. Husband to make my crusts for these things) and the idea of trying to manipulate a crust into a bundt pan made me perspire. (In fairness, my only bundt pan is a pliable silicone thing that makes for easy cleanup but doesn't tend to hold the shape of whatever's in it very well.)

So, my crack Googling skills led me to the idea of little mini-muffin pies.

With my new goal in mind, I made the following modifications:
I halved the recipe across the board (maybe a mistake – read on)
I used ground turkey in place of pork – I live in the middle of nowhere and only ever see ground pork as part of a "meatloaf mix" and YES, I could have gone to the butcher and asked for some special order, but everyone is masked and also I don't like talking to people
I did not use chervil - see above about the middle of nowhere and also I don't know what chervil is and YES, I could have Googled it, but I had already Googled that day and I am awfully lazy

The dough came together very easily and was not nearly as sticky as I was led to believe. 

BUT. 

The dough didn't seem to rise. AT ALL. Maybe something got mis-aligned in my halving of the amounts? I know the yeast activated before I mixed it in, and the dough retained a delicious buttery, yeasty aroma throughout, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Likewise, the meat mixture was simple enough, my only regret being that I didn't have the Hamilton-Beach meat grinder that my mother received for Christmas, 1963. (Photo evidence below. If you can manage to keep your eyes from lingering on the fabulousness of the Christmas tree and the television.) 


As far as I remember, my mother used the meat grinder EXCLUSIVELY to grind up leftover ham for ham salad, and it sat in her kitchen well into my adulthood, and though she's no longer with us I'm pretty sure it still exists, intact and operational, somewhere in my own home or one of my siblings'.

Un-risen dough now rested, I shaped it into a muffin tin with varying degrees of success. Not only did it not noticeably rise, but it retained a very springy texture. By the time I had finished shaping one slot, the dough in the previously-completed slot had pulled back from the edges and begun to pull into itself. It was a race against time.

Once filled, I tried to get fancy with the remaining dough, again with varying degrees of success, as evidenced by the shot glass in the background.


I baked at 400 for just shy of 20 minutes, maybe that was even a little too long as they probably got a little too brown on the bottom.



So how did they taste? 

SPOILER ALERT my marriage is safe. FOR NOW


Check out my fellow Pieathletes' creations below, and stay tuned because KITSCHMAS IS COMING

Rum and Butterscotch Pie at Vintage Recipe Cards
Surprise Fudge Pie at Silver Screen Suppers
Tarte a l'Orange at Recipes for Rebels
Chocolate-Crusted Coffee Pie at Grannie Pantries
Osgood Pie at A Book of Cookrye
Tarte au Petite Suisse at The Nostalgic Cook
Dinner is Served 1972

ALSO: Did you know Dr. Husband and I have a podcast? And Dr. Husband even has another one all his own?


32 comments:

  1. They are so cute!! i love your lattice crust! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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  2. I laughed from "the idea of trying to manipulate a crust into a bundt pan made me perspire," until the very tail end! Your results were quite handsome! Looking forward to Kitschmas!!!

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  3. A for effort and creativity!
    Also, what is this Kitschmas? How do I get invited?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. You have an open invitation, can you sing?

      https://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorBobbsKitschen/search?query=kitschmas

      Delete
  4. It's so nice to see you again! And the pies looked really good. You'd never guess the dough was supposed to rise.

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  5. I love your open admission of laziness too! I'm not the only one.

    I'm also unnerved by how well you seem to know me. Of course I was mostly looking at the aluminum tree and the old TV rather than the people in your photograph! It's like you can read my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yum, those look really good! I searched to see if anyone had actually made it in a Bundt pan and found nothing, so I'm guessing you made the right call. Plus, those are cuter than a giant meaty Bundt.

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  7. I probably just woke up my neighbours by shrieking and then guffawing at Dr Husband's comment. "There's no prize? Then why do you do it?" HAHAHAHAHAHAH! We retro food bloggers often ask ourselves this very same question. Please let him know that there will be a Vincent Price Cucumber Crocodile contest running soon at Silver Screen Suppers and there WILL be prizes. A specially commissioned Vincent Price finger puppet and a spooky gothic candle in the shape of a very realistic finger to be precise. Hahahah. I LOVED your take on this pie. So pleased that your marriage does not need saving THAT YOU KNOW OF! Get yourself back in the kitschen Dr Bobb we need this stuff more than ever xx

    ReplyDelete
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  13. Herbal treatment is 100% guaranteed for HSV cure, the reason why most people are finding it difficult to cure HSV is because they believe in medical reports, drugs and medical treatment which is not helpful to cure HSV. Natural roots/herbs are the best remedy which can easily eradicate herpes forever. i never thought i could ever get cured of herpes not until i met dr Okhai, i have used several drugs up to no avail, the symptoms keeps increasing at a certain time i couldn't seat in public with people the itching was much that it became embarrassing . My story changed when I came across dr.OKhai herbal post online. At first I was scared not to fall victim again because several fake herbal doctors had collected money from me and nothing happened. I didn't even see the herbal medicine nor did I get cured. So i summoned courage and i contacted him and within 4 days i receive the herbal medicine, prescription on how to use it was in it , i used it as prescribed for 18days and after 2days i went for test and herpes was no more, im so happy for the past 3yrs i have been living in pains. please if you are still out there suffering from herpes or any other form of infection i indulge you to contact dr Okhai and be healed so you can live your normal life again. You can reach him on drokhaiherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsapp ;+2347017709481
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  18. Dealing with the genital herpes really fucked me up on so many occasions till i finally beat the virus permanently with the help of Dr.Ogudugu on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEMTffBkowE&t=26s

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  19. I was diagnosed of herpes 3 years, and ever since then i have been taking treatment to prevent outbreaks, burning and blisters, but there was no improvement until i came across testimonies of Dr. VOODOO on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then i contacted him. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which i took according to his instructions for up to 2 weeks. After completing the medication i went back to my doctor for another test and the virus was all gone and i was completely cured, since then i have not had any signs of outbreak. I'm so filled with joy. With herbal medication Herpes Virus is 100% curable. I refer Dr VOODOO to everyone out there with the virus Email: voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com Add Dr voodoo on whatsApp +2348140120719

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  25. HOW I GOT RID OF HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS BY DR VOODOO

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    ReplyDelete
  26. Psoriasis disease is said to have no cure, just as i was told by my family doctor  be cured but can be controlled and make your bPsoriasis ody flare-ups, Although i was a very stubborn person i never believed in what my doctor told me about psoriasis disease having no cure Am a very honest person who believe in nature and i also believed that there could be cure somewhere in the world, I kept my faith so strong and kept on doing my research till i finally came across Dr. Kham on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/dr.khamherbsremedies/ from west Africa He is one of the oldest herbalists after Dr. Sebi and total am a living testimony to his herbal cure to psoriasis disease, I became psoriasis disease Negative after using the herbal medication Dr. Kham mailed me along with the prescriptions and today it's been 2 months  and psoriasis disease is not traceable in my body system, A diagnosis of psoriasis disease is not the end of the world, but women should know where they stand. I Will encourage testing for all sexually active women. If you suspect you may have had exposure to the psoriasis disease, You should Reach out to herbalist Dr. Kham for an evaluation and permanent cure in two weeks. Dr. Kham is here to answer all your questions and discuss a long-term management strategy that will eradicate this psoriasis disease permanently in two weeks, All thanks To Dr. Kham For More Info on how to get cured Contact Dr. Kham now on his Gmail: dr.khamcaregiver@gmail.com or Send him a message ICQ APP/WhatsApp with his phone number: +2348159922297 or visit his Website https://drkhamcaregiver.wixsite.com/drkhamcaregiverherba Dr. Kham Herbal Medicine is 100% guaranteed in curing any diseases/virus with no side Effects.

    ReplyDelete
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