Corn and Wiener Bake

Libby's Advertising Insert, 1960-something

 

If it says Libby Libby Libby on the label label label , then you can rest assured that it's richer in NATURAL corn cream!"

You may think today's recipe is the epitome of laziness on my part, but after all, I did have to gash the hot dogs, and stuff them with triangles of American cheese, which I had to make myself because it's only sold in squares. Plus a new issue of Vanity Fair just came so I've been so very busy.

If you're tempted to try it on your own, here's how to do it:

In baking dish, stir 2 tbsp. prepared mustard into 2 #303 cans Libby's Cream Style Corn. Add 8 wieners, gashed and stuffed with sharp cheese. Dot corn with butter and bake in mod. oven 20 min.

I actually thought this would go worse than it did, since Dr. Husband was really hungry and I assured him I would make a healthy nutritious lunch for him...

Our Rating: Three Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Virginia's Emerald Isle Shrimp!

I wasn’t going to bother with St. Patrick’s Day - seeing as how I’m on Spring Break, and Dr. Husband is visiting his family, and last year's St. Patrick's Day offering was fairly successful so why mess with a good thing – but a post from Yinzerella shamed me into action (I follow her with regularity, as you all should be).

I’m not sure who “Virginia” is, or why she’s so averse to flavor of any kind, but here’s her recipe for St. Paddy’s Day shrimp. You know how flamingos are pink because of all the shrimp they eat? This is kind of like that, only you're imparting the color of the spinach into the shrimp (which wasn't entirely successful here. Maybe shrimp are more color resistant these days? I blame Monsanto). 

As I write, there's a little over an hour left of St. Patrick's Day, but if you're still standing and need something to do, here's the recipe:

3 dozen medium shrimp
2 pounds fresh spinach
2 cups dairy sour cream
2 packages (8-oz size) cream cheese
6 lemons, cut into wedges

Peel and devein shrimp, leaving tails intact; sprinkle lightly with lemon juice and set aside.
Carefully wash and devein spinach; tear leaves into bits. Place in large saucepan with 2 cup water. Place shrimps on top of spinach leaves. Bring water to boil; cook slowly 3-4 minutes or until spinach is wilted and shrimp are cooked through. Take care not to overcook lest shrimp become tough.
Shrimp will turn pale green as they absorb color from the spinach. Remove shrimp from saucepan and refrigerate for later use.

Drain spinach and purée in blender or food processor; measure 2 1/2 cups cooked puréed spinach and place in mixing bowl; fold in dairy sour cream and cream cheese; mix thoroughly.
Lightly oil 6-cup ring mold; spoon spinach-cheese mixture into mold. Cover and refrigerate until firm, about 3 hours.

Unmold spinach-cream mixture onto plate; arrange shrimp on mold in decorative manner; fill center of mold with lemon wedges arranged in sunburst fashion.

Full disclosure, I halved the amounts of the spinach-cream mixture, and it was plenty. Plenty of flavorless nuthin'.  Almost any addition would make this not half bad - a packet of ranch dressing mix, horseradish, minced onion, pepper jelly - in fact, almost anything that actually possessed flavor, which spinach, cream cheese, and sour cream do not. Do you agree, panel?

Our Rating: Three Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Tuna 'n Waffles!

Campell's Soup Recipes ca. 1954

Snow Day! Snow Day! Snow Day!

Oh, so there's a snow day today, if you haven't heard. I was going to post something today anyway, but thought I'd take the opportunity of free time to branch out into other mealtimes. If I were to really set my mind to the task, I'd likely calculate that Dr. Husband has made far more breakfasts than I have - perhaps with good reason.

Also - thanks, America, for all the new Facebook likes this week. Keep 'em coming! (And subscribe to our Youtube Channel while you're at it)

In case you're having trouble reading the recipe from the ad above, here you go. (I omitted the olives, not by choice - they've all been used up in martinis and I can't get to the store because of the aforementioned snow.)

Blend 1 can Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup with 1/2 cup milk, 1 cup drained, flaked tuna (7-oz. can) and 1/4 cup sliced stuffed olives. Heat thoroughly. Pour over 4 crisp waffles. Presto, a quick 'n easy dinner for 4.

DINNER FOR FOUR my foot. It barely fed two of us and we didn't even like it that much!

I mean - it was okay. Reminds me of the creamed codfish that my grandmother used to make, served over her own homemade bread.

Here's Dr. Husband's reaction, not as bad as I feared -

Our Rating: One Screaming Husband!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Summer Salad!

The Joys of Jell-O, p. 52

I'm assuming most of you live in America, and thus have been suffering under cruelly cold weather - I live in a nearly 200-year old house as well, which soaks up the cold and makes it frigid even on the off days that the thermometer is above freezing. So, I thought I'd bring a little summer into all of our lives, with this delight from the Joys of Jell-O cookbook circa 1963. A delicious, lovely salad that displays the bounty of the season, the book says. Because nothing says summer like rough-cut vegetables suspended in gelatin!

Summer Salad holds pride of place as the back cover illustration for 1963's Joys of Jell-O:

Based on that illustration alone, I didn't hold out much hope for this entry, never mind the version I ended up with on my own. But a wish gastronomic friend saw a preview of today's post and, unprompted, remarked "...it looks like fresh tomatoes, celery, green pepper, and cucumbers in a simple gelatin. If it is favored with a vinegar and garlic base, it could be quite wonderful." I'll be damned if he wasn't right.

Vinegar, yes, but no garlic - lemon Jell-O is the base, and we all know that's the key to success when adding vegetables or meat. Sour it up with vinegar and salt so the sweetness doesn't overpower, until such time as my humble efforts prompt a resurgence of Jell-O mania and they bring back celery and Italian dressing flavors. Here's the recipe:

1 package (3 oz.) lemon Jell-O gelatin
1/2 teaspoon salt or onion salt
1 cup boiling water
3/4 cup cold water
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 small tomato, cut into thin wedges
1/4 cup sliced celery
1/4 cup sliced quartered cucumber
few slivers green pepper
dash of oregano (optional)

Dissolve Jell-O Gelatin and salt in boiling water. Add cold water and vinegar. Chill until very thick. Fold in remaining ingredients. Pour into a 3-cup or 1-quart mold. Chill until firm. Unmold on crisp greens. Garnish with more tomato, if desired. Makes about 3 cups, or 6 side salads. 
NOTE: If desired, substitute 1/2 cup sliced radishes for tomato or 1/2 cup chopped cauliflower for cucumber.

No substitutions here (and no oregano either, if you were keeping track). What did my discriminating guests think?

Our Rating: Zero Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Anniversary Chicken!

Today Dr. Husband and I celebrate 22 years of wedded bliss (well, not technically wedded all that time, because of some ugly business about not letting us get married...but that's all behind us now, isn't it Alabama?) If you're good at adding and subtracting in your head, you'll realize that it means we've been together since college high school middle school.

I thought I'd make something not at all disgusting to mark the occasion, but in keeping with the spirit of things, it's still a bunch of disparate ingredients glopped onto some raw meat and then smothered in cheese.  A one-dish meal that provides your entire week's worth of sodium!

The recipe is everywhere on the internets; just Google "anniversary recipes" and you're certain to stumble upon it. Or just keep reading.

2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
6 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1/2 cup teriyaki basting sauce
1/2 cup Ranch-style salad dressing
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
3 green onions, chopped
1/2 (3 ounce) can bacon bits
1 Tablespoons chopped fresh parsley, for garnish

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat.
3. Add chicken breasts, and saute 4 to 5 minutes each side, until lightly browned.
4. Place browned chicken breasts in a 9x13 inch baking dish. Brush with teriyaki sauce, then spoon on salad dressing.
5. Sprinkle with cheese, green onions and bacon bits.
6. Bake for 25 to 35 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink and juices run clear. Garnish with parsley and serve.

It's a real man-pleaser, ladies, and easy to throw together if you're in a rush. I imagine you could even skip the browning if you're really pressed for time. And is it good? YOU BET!

 Our Rating:  Zero Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

SPAM-Fruit Cocktail Buffet Party Loaf!

contributed by DelMonte Co., via the internets

Newer readers of the blog (lots of new Facebook likes lately, keep 'em coming!) may be surprised to learn that, despite lots of flirtation with similar products, I've only ever made one recipe using America's favorite potted meat product, SPAM™.  The chief reason being that Dr. Husband has essentially forbidden its presence in our home, so I can only sneak it in when he's not looking. (He's also not fond of Miracle Whip, but I have to put my foot down about the really important things.)

SPAM™ has been in production for over 75 years, and recently (2007) sold its seven BILLIONTH can, so those like Dr. Husband hoping for its quick departure will have a bit longer to wait.  If you're able to just accept SPAM's supremacy forevermore, I'm sorry to report that the SPAM Museum is temporarily closed...but you can head on over to SPAM central and see all the remarkable things you can do with it while you wait for the grand reopening!

For all its versatility, this recipe came not from SPAM™ but from Del Monte brand fruit cocktail, "the fruit cocktail with character".  The colorful advertisement below proudly features a recipe that is "really different!  Ham and salad molded in one loaf!"

 The print is hard to make out, so I'll do the honors:

1 (15-ounce) can Del Monte fruit cocktail, drained (reserve syrup)
2 tablespoons unflavored gelatin
2 tablespoons vinegar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
2 (12-ounce) cans Spam luncheon meat, very finely chopped
1/2 cup celery, very finely chopped
1/4 cup green olives, very finely chopped
1/2 cup Miracle Whip
1 teaspoon prepared mustard
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 lemons
Paprika
Additional Miracle Whip

Arrange drained fruit cocktail in 9-by-5-by-3 inch loaf pan. In top of double boiler, mix reserved syrup with gelatin, vinegar, cinnamon, and cloves. Place over hot water and stir until gelatin dissolves. Carefully pour 1/2 cup of gelatin mixture over fruit cocktail. Place in pan in refrigerator and chill until gelatin has thickened but is not set.

Mix Spam with celery and olives. Mix Miracle Whip with mustard, salt, and remaining gelatin mixture. Add Spam mixture to Miracle Whip mixture and blend well. Spread over fruit cocktail. Chill until firm, at least 4 hours.

For garnish, make lemon cups by halving lemons, slicing off ends (so lemons will stand up), and scooping out pulp. Dip cut edges of lemons in paprika. Fill cups with Miracle Whip and sprinkle lightly with additional paprika.

To serve, unmold loaf onto large platter and surround with lemon cups. Makes 8 to 10 servings

This went together fairly quickly, the most time-consuming part is chopping the SPAM™. (I suppose I could have used the food processor, but I was afraid it would dissolve into a gelatinous goop or pink slime or somesuch.)

I went offsite for the tasting, so there would be others around to protect me from Dr. Husband's pork-like food product-induced wrath:

 Our Rating:  Three Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)

Beer Bread!

Special Recipe Collection from the Ladies of the 5th Division Commandery, 1977

 What I'm about to share will likely seem elementary to anyone who bakes with regularity (I don't), or who has even a remedial understanding of middle school science (I used to, but gin and rum and destiny play funny tricks), but the fact that I dumped a bottle of beer on top of a pile of flour and ended up with bread amazes me still.  Even Dr. Husband, who does bake with regularity, was skeptical of the technique as laid out in 1977's Special Recipe Collection from the Ladies of the 5th Division Commandery (with good cause; the book, my grandmother's, is filled with her handwritten notes indicating when an important ingredient or instruction had been left out of a recipe and not caught before going to print. Her own contribution of "Grits Soufflé" came with absolutely no cooking instructions whatsoever, only an ingredient list.)

The recipe for beer bread is so simple, even a governor of Texas could do it:

3 cups self-rising flour
4-5 tablespoons sugar
1 can beer

Mix together. Bake at 375 degrees for 35 minutes. Bake in loaf pan, cookie sheet or anything you like.

Every other recipe in the book is attributed to an individual, except for this one. Maybe making beer bread was so ubiquitous that it's something everyone in 1977 knew how to do, like disco dancing?   

I used a bottle of "Guinness Blonde Ale" in the mix. It didn't seem quite done after 35 minutes in the oven so I kept in baking in 10-minute increments - all told it probably cooked about an hour.

 Our Rating:  Zero Screaming Husbands!

(all dishes are rated from one to five Screaming Husbands. One Screaming Husband equals a happy home where all problems are solved during cocktail hour. Five Screaming Husbands signals the beginning of divorce proceedings.)